RK Big Brother
by Boxerdogluver
Summary: Sano, Megumi, Yahiko, Kenshin, Kurogasa, Aoshi, and Kaoru all in one house. What insanity will occur? R&R please!!! Chapter 3 up!
1. Poor Aoshi

RK Big Brother by boxerdogluver  
  
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and man, if you do.you are sooo cool!! (I don't own Big Brother either, mind you.)  
  
A/N: I don't know if anyone's done this before because I haven't been getting on the computer much lately.but if so I'm not copying you. ^_^  
  
WEEK ONE  
  
One day our favorite samurais (or wannabe samurais) were moved into a one-story house surrounded by a twenty-foot tall electric fence. (No escaping in my story.they can try but they won't succeed!) These people included.Sanosuke, Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko, Aoshi, Megumi, and Kurogasa. The guards got in their watchtowers around the house because sometimes electric fences just aren't enough. They armed their trangquilizer guns. So the group ran through the house so they could be used to living there for a month. A/N: Whoever tells me (A) How to spell battousai OR (B) How long the people stay in the house in big brother get a treat!!! ^_^ Yahiko ran into the backyard and saw the chickens in their pen, so he immediately began snickering. "Hey Chicken Head come back here!" the boy shouted. Sano burst out the back door and saw what Yahiko was pointing at. "MY PEOPLE!!!" he cried at the top of his lungs. "Guess that makes you a cannibal," Aoshi said as he joined them. Yahiko shushed him and whispered, "Shhhh. We have to be quiet so we can observe the wild Sano in its peak of stupidity!" Sano grumbled something that will be not typed by me with the rating remaining PG at that last remark. Meanwhile. Megumi and Kaoru were fighting over who got to share room two with Kenshin when Big Samurai said over the speaker, "Here's the way it works. Yahiko and Kurogasa in room one. Kenshin by himself in room two. Sano and Aoshi in room three. Kaoru and Megumi in room four." Many cuss words were heard throughout the house. Kurogasa was definitely the angriest. "You brought me back from the dead for THIS? I have to share a room with some punk kid and be trapped in a house with my mortal enemy for a month with no weapons other than kitchen knives that are in an unbreakable box with a code on it that only Kenshin knows?!" he screeched, "AND I can't do the creepy thing with my eyes any more, or at least there's no point because you are all immune to it by now?!" "Yup," Megumi said, crossing her arms. "And don't even try to kidnap me AGAIN because we're all in one house so you can't go any where," Kaoru stated. Kenshin sighed. "Please don't make me become a manslayer again," Kenshin cooed. Back to Sano, Yahiko, and Aoshi. Aoshi banged his head against the siding of the house. "I have to share a room with that psycho!" He screamed. Yahiko was rolling around on the ground laughing. "What are you laughing at?" Sano asked Yahiko, "Your roommate is an evil friggin' manslayer who is basically the living dead!" Yahiko stopped laughing and looked at Chicken Head with squinted eyes. "What ever happened to you, man? You used to be cool." "I'm still cool!" Aoshi walked up to the electric fence and jumped at it shouting, "PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" He was shot. But it was just a tranquilizer gun, so his last words before he slipped into unconsciousness were, "Don't wake me up. Ever." As Sano and Yahiko dragged Aoshi into room three they made sure to bump his head many times and to show everyone their opportunity of evilness. When he woke up he found out that he had wet the bed (thanks to Kurogasa and some cold and warm water), chocolate syrup in his hair and on his nose (thanks to Megumi), some very nasty pictures taken with an instant camera scattered around him (thanks to Sano), was wearing a short pink dress with a long black wig super-glued to his head, (thanks to Yahiko), a make over -with lipstick, eye shadow, mascara, and everything (thanks to Kenshin), and waxed legs (thanks to Kaoru). His scream was so loud that someone on Jupiter called the police due to 'too much of that darned noise.' Big Samurai told them all to go in to the living room. Aoshi had no time to fix anything that had been done to him and he walked around like that for quite some time. "Your first task is to all make something pretty for their roommate. Yes, prettier than the woman in the pink dress," big samurai snickered. Aoshi scowled and was about to chew the speakers out of their places in the walls. "Is that it?" Megumi asked but Big Samurai didn't answer. "Guess so," Kaoru said in a very bored manner. So they all got to work. **********************END CHAPTER ONE********************** A/N: So what do ya think everybody? I know it's probably pretty boring but I just had to get a start. Please leave reviews and flame if I deserve it. It will hopefully get more interesting later. And again, if anybody did a story like this before then I'm sorry if it seems that I'm copying you but I'm not. ^_^ So please enjoy it. -BoxerDogLuver 


	2. Swirlies

A/N: Hey everyone I bet no one's going to read this so it doesn't matter any way. But I am bored so I'm just going to keep on writing it. When people talk I'm just gonna do the script form thang.  
  
Disclaimer: Bite me. You know I don't own it. So just bite me. That's all I have to say. I also don't own the quote from Cool World in here. And, ya know what? I am getting sick of listing things I don't own. So I'm gonna list things I do-one Kenshin DVD, a dog, a Linkin Park shirt, a dollar bill, and a nice big sketch book.  
  
SO last time we had the first thing where everyone had to make something prettier than Aoshi for their roommates in three hours.  
  
WEEK ONE CONT. (WITH SOME OF WEEK 2)  
  
They all gathered their supplies, such as Aoshi gathering tape, krazy glue, sparkles, sugar, rat poison, and other cake ingredients.  
  
It took them each three hours to finish exactly, and everyone kept giving Sano funny looks because he was just sitting in the kitchen with a blank stare on his face.  
  
Kenshin: I don't get anything?  
  
Sano: .I'll make something for you 2.  
  
Kenshin: *starry eyed* thankyouuuuu  
  
So Sano got a charcoal pencil and drew a perfect pic of Kenshin.but when Ken looked at it he realized that the chest wasn't flat.  
  
Kenshin: YOU GAVE ME BOOBS!  
  
Sano: So?  
  
Kenshin: I'm A GUY Sano: *astounded* OH MY GOD! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!!!! And you let me flirt with you!  
  
Kenshin: X_X  
  
Then Sano got to work on Aoshi's present.  
  
Kenshin cooked Sano a big sausage and onion pizza for the picture (for some reason Kenshin kept on muttering, "I look good as a girl!"  
  
When everyone was done, the three-hour timer beeped and the group just collapsed.  
  
Big Samurai said that they could now exchange gifts.  
  
They all sat in the living room and Aoshi gave Sano a cake, which he carefully and quietly dumped out the window next to the couch.  
  
The cake exploded.  
  
But no one expected anything less from him (since he was in a bad mood about the cross dressing incident) and just continued on with their weird lives.  
  
Kaoru gave Megumi a look that said, "Kenshin's mine," and a bottle of home- made vanilla bean body lotion.  
  
Megumi gave Kaoru a-you know what this is getting boring. I'm just gonna be quick. M-KA~ bead necklace S-A~ bottle of so called 'chill pills' that no one dared try to figure out what's in them KU-Y~ pre-smoked cigarette Y-KU- pretty sky blue mittens  
  
Big Samurai: Now it is time for *duh duh duh duuuuuuuuuh* the vote!  
  
Everyone: *no exasperated faces, just boredom*  
  
Big Samurai: We will make everyone go vote in the little shack in the back, in alphabetical order.Aoshi you first. *five seconds later* Kaoru -- Kenshin -- Kurogasa -- Megumi -- Sanosuke -- Yahiko  
  
Big Samurai: The person to get eliminated is-  
  
Yahiko: Teehee, your initials are B.S!  
  
Big Samurai: You know what, forget the votes. The kid goes.  
  
RK cast: *chanting* votes, votes, votes, votes  
  
Yahiko: Fine! I'll take my gift and leave!  
  
*gift crumbles to pieces, as it is a smoked cigarette*  
  
Big Samurai: *laughs as Yahiko shrugs and walks out the door*  
  
Sano: I hate you. YOU MADE US GET STUCK WITH KUROGASA! *runs in to his room crying*  
  
Aoshi: Well, at least I snuck in my laptop.with DSL connection! I can just stay on it while he sobs in a corner!  
  
Kaoru: Wow, that's the most you've ever said!  
  
Kenshin: Can you say it again?  
  
Aoshi: .  
  
Kurogasa: The two of us never even co-existed! I died before he even came!  
  
Guards: *rush in, tranquilize Kurogasa, drag him in to room, rush out*  
  
Megumi: Please?  
  
Aoshi: . Suddenly there were many flushing sounds coming from the bathroom. All at once.  
  
Kenshin and Aoshi went to investigate. (don't ask why)  
  
There was a very interesting sight inside. Sano had his head in the toilet and was giving himself swirly after swirly after swirly.  
  
Kenshin: Stop it, mon, you'll drown yourself.  
  
Sano: *flush* Okay.  
  
Aoshi: Give me the crystal!  
  
Sano: Okay, honey poo.  
  
END CHAPTER 2  
  
  
  
Those remaining:  
  
Aoshi Kaoru Kenshin Kurogasa Megumi Sanosuke Eliminated: Yahiko  
  
A/N: So hey, what'd ya think everybody? Not worth continuing? ^_~ I don't care. I'm gonna continue it anyways cuz I can't do crap over the summer. Now this will become interactive. You vote who you want voted off each chapter. (excluding this one, sry) Though since this is a somewhat old ff, no one will probly read it. Oh well. Hope ya liked it, R&R and be my friend. 


	3. Who's Big Samurai?

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, or Big Brother for that matter. So get off my back about it.  
  
A/N: Hey guys! Please remember to cast your votes in at the end of the chapter. Who goes? Aoshi? Kaoru? Kenshin? Kurogasa? Megumi? Sanosuke? Guess what.I've never watched a single episode of Big Brother, and only seen the first 8 episodes of Rurouni Kenshin, Wandering Samurai. Not Legends of Kyoto, not Tales of the Meiji. -_- I'm hoping to change that soon though. Remember guys, I can't continue the fic until I get votes.  
  
Announcer: Chapter 3 in Rurouni Kenshin Big Brother- In the last chapter: "Who cares about the votes, the boy goes." Yahiko was eliminated. The votes were later looked at and all but one said, "Kurogasa". The other said "Spiky Haired Crackhead". Now we see what unfolds.  
  
Aoshi: .........  
  
Kenshin: You are right Aoshi, that you are. Where is that voice coming from?  
  
I am your god.  
  
Kaoru: No, you're not. You're just some bored fanfic author who's had too much sugar.  
  
Shut up! You're ruining the effect!  
  
Kaoru spontaneously became a pink flamingo.  
  
Kenshin: ORO? Miss Kaoru?!  
  
Sano: Hey, where'd the chicken come from?  
  
It's a pink flamingo, genius.  
  
Aoshi: Touchy.  
  
You too!  
  
Before their eyes, Aoshi (who was back in his normal clothes with no make up) was transformed in to a coat hanger.  
  
Kenshin: That was uncalled for, miss. *becomes battousai*  
  
Kurogasa: Hey! How come it took me so long to make him do that-  
  
He was turned in to a lump of coal.  
  
Megumi: What's going on out here?  
  
I don't like you.  
  
Megumi: Why?  
  
Sano: Megumi, never question her.  
  
Megumi became a purple spotted fox and Sano just remained human.  
  
Aoshi changed back in to a human and smiled.  
  
Kenshin: Change them back!  
  
He was turned in to a bottle of sake.  
  
Sano: Saaaaaaaaaaakeeee----  
  
Aoshi: !!!!!!!  
  
Big Samurai came on to the speakers and saved the day for every one.  
  
Big Samurai: Now we have a challenge where every one must be tied to someone else for TWENTY-FOUR HOURS MUWAH AH AH!  
  
Purple spotted fox thing: Do those two know each other?  
  
Bye  
  
Every one returned to their normal selves happily when this certain author wandered away on a floating giant banana (possibly processed in Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory ^_~)  
  
Megumi: Can't we just excape this.somehow?  
  
Aoshi: *shakes head, gulps*  
  
Kenshin: I am the star of this show and I demand we dig a hole under the fence.  
  
Sano: Good idea, you dig a hole, we climb through it.  
  
Kurogasa: Oh how I love you, battousai. It would be so much easier if you would just give me the knives.  
  
Big Samurai: Has everyone TOTALLY missed what I've said? You're wandering away from the point of the story!  
  
*chains appear locking people together*  
  
Megumi: Noooooooo, not the Rooster!  
  
Sano: Rooster rules!  
  
Kurogasa: You do know foxes eat roosters, right?  
  
Kaoru: You think you have it off badly, I have to be chained to this psycho.  
  
Kurogasa: *cackles, chews on sleeves of shirt*  
  
Aoshi: .  
  
Kenshin: Hey! I don't over use all my lines, de gozaru.  
  
Aoshi: *gives Kenshin a very 'I prove my point' look*  
  
Big Samurai: Now we make things more interesting. We see how much you know each other. Each of you ask the other a question about yourself. If they get it wrong they remove an article of clothing. Keep asking until I say stop. But switch partners.  
  
Aoshi: So, Kenshin.Do I do yoga?  
  
Kenshin: No.  
  
Aoshi: Wrong!  
  
Kenshin proceeded to take out his hair tie and lay it in front of him.  
  
Sano: Hey, fox, what are my three favorite bands?  
  
Megumi: *pause* Korn.and.and.Eve 6.and Dixie Chicks.  
  
Sano smiled as he shook his head.  
  
Sano: Offspring, Flogging Molly, and Garth Brooks.  
  
So this went on until everyone was hiding behind trees, bushes, or whatever they could find for cover.  
  
Big Samurai: Okay, good enough. You can stop now. By the way, Sano.headband things count as clothing.  
  
Sano: *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*  
  
Big Samurai: Now we vote! Come in to the house. Your clothes are waiting there.  
  
Kaoru: Tee hee, I purposefully gave you hard questions, Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: ORORORORORORORORORORORORORORORO?!  
  
Everyone snuck in to the house, two at a time. Unfortunately, Kurogasa was still among them. Kaoru closed her eyes when they made a dash for it.  
  
When they got in, there was some confusion.  
  
They all ended up wearing someone else's clothes, but that was fine. They were clothes.  
  
Kenshin: Who are you, oh mysterious one called Big Samurai?  
  
Megumi peeked behind a curtain (just like in the wizard of Oz) and saw someone speaking in to a microphone.  
  
She grabbed the person by the scruff of the neck and dragged them out of the closet.  
  
Everyone: Ayame?!  
  
Ayame: Suzume told me to! She said Dr. Gensai wanted me to!  
  
The little girl started crying, then her eyes turned red.  
  
"Uncle Kennie," she said, and began gnawing on Sano's head, "A while ago you tried to hurt Uncle Kennie!"  
  
Sano: It's okay, I'm used to it. Yahiko does it all the time. Wait! OW! She's really hurting me! He tried to kill him too, so did he!  
  
He pointed around the room to Aoshi and Kurogasa.  
  
Aoshi ran up and plucked the little girl off his head, then shoved her back in the room behind the curtain.  
  
Sano: Thanks Aoshman!  
  
Aoshi: .  
  
Big Samurai AKA Ayame: VOTE OR I WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!  
  
They all sat down and went one by one in to a room inside the house that had a video camera randomly placed in it, along with a couch.  
  
Big Samurai: The one who will be eliminated is-  
  
A/N: Now, that's the end of the chapter because I need your votes everybody. Hope you liked it. ^_~ Lyl 4 reading my story, -Boxerdogluver 


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